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31 10, 2011

Do You Really Want What You Want?

By |2017-03-03T12:07:07-05:00October 31st, 2011|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments

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Today while working out at the YMCA, I noticed a heavy woman on the stationary bike slowly peddling and reading a cook book! She didn’t seem like she was in much of a hurry to get anywhere. It started me thinking, how we sabotage ourselves. Of course I’m assuming she was trying to lose weight, not just hiding out reading her casserole cookbook. Maybe she just wanted to learn how to cook.

Losing weight is hard, working out is hard and doing both is even harder. What do you have to do  to get what you want and be successful? Is it work hard? Maybe not.

I think the first thing is you have to know what you really want. Like the woman on the bike, are you trying to go backwards and forwards at the same time? Like the “jumbo shrimp cocktail?”

 How often do we say “I want to be healthy” while we’re eating another  piece of cake? To be successful and get what you want you must have a compelling personal commitment to something that is really important–to you! When you’re engaged in “the thing” you don’t worry about the time or what you’re doing. For me it’s being at the YMCA lifting weights. Why is that you ask, I have no idea but when it’s “weight lift day” I can’t wait to get to the gym. Is it because I want to be healthy, partly. The other reason is  I like the feeling of getting stronger. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed at 6AM but usually I do it. I’m just passionate about this part of my workout. I hold myself accountable by checking off the machines as I use them and carefully note the weight on each machine. Occasionally for whatever reason I miss a week and I feel awful. I try and remind myself of the bigger picture and get back on the wagon.It’s hard losing weight and working out; it’s even harder if you live across the street from D&D., Dunkin Donuts.

Success needs to be measured in your own terms. I have a friend who collects miniature tea pots, one who collects glass elephants and another business cards! Go figure. It gives them pleasure and they will always show you their newest addition. I have another friend who collects baseball cards, and has them cataloged. Apparently this type of success, to do what you want isn’t measured in money–not even for my friend with cabinets filled with baseball cards.

You must be willing to pay the price–“you work too hard, you’re a workaholic, why collect meaningless business cards? You must be passionate. Can you pass the “Passion Test?” This is a very interesting test, you’ll know right away if you’re passionate. I would say if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, move on! If you feel like you can’t move on, find something about the task that you really love and put your heart and soul into it.

This is a great article on being successful: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/successful/

Simple but : insightful, things that successful people do.  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/02/nine_things_successful_people.html#disqusComments

Get rid of limiting beliefs: I can’t do it, I might fail and what will people think? If you’re worry about what people think you’re already in trouble. I am reading “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek which really  makes you think. Check out this video of Simon Sinek. “Our perceptions influence or behavior.”

Decide that you matter. You’re not selfish because you “matter.” How will you get what you want and fill your passion if “you don’t matter?” You must know “people pleasers” who spend their lives doing for everyone but themselves? This is a great article on being a “people pleaser” and what it takes to change. Being a “people pleaser” may feel good for a minute but after it’s over, you’ll have to look for someone else to please if you want to feel good again.

Spend a minute thinking about yourself tomorrow and dream your dreams, even if it’s just for a minute. 

Lisbeth Calandrino is a business coach and speaker. Her book, Red Hot Customer Service has great tips on providing anything but ordinary tips for customer service for your customers. She can be reached at Redhotcustomerservice@nycap.rr.com.

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16 05, 2011

Are You Still Living On “Wanna Be Island?”

By |2017-03-03T12:07:09-05:00May 16th, 2011|Categories: beliefs, Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |2 Comments

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"Just because you "Wanna" won't make it happen."

One of my friends came up with an interesting thought; “I now  realize that most people , including myself, live on “I Wanna Be Island.” This is not the Wanna Wanna Inn, South Padre Island, Texas, it’s the I wanna be this,  I wanna be  that but wanna be is  not enough to make it happen. You have to know what you want to make it happen, and go for it.

I started thinking about “Wanna Be Island, ”  was I living there too? How many times have I said I wanna have this happen and left it at that?

In order to bring about significant change in your life, you need to give yourself the freedom to open new lines of communication between your mind, body and your spirit.  Little changes can become big changes as you disconnect from “the way things are supposed to be.” Check out this post, The Quickest Way to Change Your Life. You can dream, entertain ideas or read about what you want to do but if you want it to happen you must do it. Think about weight lifting, you can’t build muscles or endurance without involving your body. I know people that are always talking about why they can’t lose weight; they have many seemingly legitimate excuses but rarely do they say, I can’t stop eating!  The reality is that too much of the wrong food will make you fat.

Why don’t we get things done? Too often our heads think apart from our bodies and then our spirit suffers. When we fail to recognize a bad habit or change a destructive pattern, it’s typically because our heads are blindly following our bodies. We’re just not thinking.

What is your self-destructive habit? Mine used to be I would work until I dropped  from exhaustion. My sister and I would work for days and nights on projects, barely stopping to eat. We would pat ourselves on the back for our endurance but now I realize how bad it was for our bodies.  It was unhealthy for us and those around us who had to put up with us.

If you are having trouble moving, here are a couple of things you might try. Immerse yourself in life. To lose yourself in something you love is to find yourself,  to discover who you are.  It’s like trying to find a street address without a map. The other night my friend Adrienne and I were on our way to a party and couldn’t find the address. Despite the fact we had directions they just didn’t make sense. We passed places I had never seen before even though I had grown up in the area. It was a little scary, why couldn’t I find the place? Had I been down this road before and never really noticed anything important? Was I passing through life the same way?

What happens when you get lost and can’t find the place? Maybe you’re living on “Wanna Be Island with social media. It’s  compelling but frightening.  In Stephen Covey’s  7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, is based on your ability to envision in your mind what you can’t see with your eyes. It’s based on your imagination, what you can envision in your mind and cannot see with your eyes. Ask yourself, how do I want this to end, what am I working towards, is it truly what I want? What are my fears, are they valid or do I scare myself when I have to learn something new? What do I put in my way? I remember going to swimming lessons as a kid. We were learning how to dive and as I approached the diving board I became panicky. The water seemed like it was 20 feet below the diving board when in actuality it was only 3 feet! Every time I pass by the diving board I laugh.

I have read that many people feel that death is the underlying root of all fears. It is the fear of a real thing, one that we must all learn to deal with if we want to enjoy life. What is the real thing that is preventing you from getting off  Wanna Be Island?

Actually  Karyn doesn’t live on Wanna Be Island, she lives in Albany, New York.  Check out Karyn’s great book, “Achiveable Fashions.” Thanks Karyn for the “Wanna Be”  idea.

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