FacebookTwitterLinkedInEmail

Motivation and change

Home/Motivation and change
21 11, 2018

How to Turn Bad into Good

By |2018-11-21T11:22:24-04:00November 21st, 2018|Categories: Blog, Motivation and change|Tags: , |0 Comments

Share This:

Life is what you do with it

I’ve had one of those days where everything seems beyond my control; have you ever had that happen? I can handle one thing going wrong but not 3 or 4 things! For instance last night I tried to download a report and both my computers were acting up! I finally went to bed at 1:30 AM and did some meditation. I hoped the meditation would quiet my nerves.

I started thinking; this is no different than when I had cancer. First I felt sorry for myself, you know, the ‘why me,’ and then I realized that ‘yes I was chosen for this task’ and what was I going to do with my opportunity. Yes, I felt it was an opportunity to call upon my strength and my wisdom; how could I help myself and the other people sitting with me in the chemo room.

We are all strong; in bad times we need to capitalize on our strengths. There is always something we can do to either put ourselves back in control or give up control to the universe. I’m not trying to get to esoteric, but the world goes on around us no matter what we are planning. After my ‘episode’ last night, I again realized there was nothing I could do and I would have to wait for some help. Those expecting my report would either accept or not accept my excuse. Case closed; at least so far.

My dear friend Tony must have read my mind because he sent me this article on How to feel happy on even your lowest days http://www.happify.com/hd/how-to-feel-happy-even-on-your-lowest-days/.

The article is about a Sam Cawthorn, Australian motivational speaker and young man who feel asleep while driving and lost his arm in the crash and was told he would never walk again. (By the way, he speaks about it on a very compelling video.)

Sam talks about Adversarial Growth; the doctors told him there were so many things he would never be able to do again! This just made him mad and he decided he would be able to do them. Sometimes this works! At first I was angry about my two desktop computers not working and then I realized it would eventually work out. You know how I knew this?

EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT! NOT NECESSARILY THE WAY YOU LIKE UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO LIKE IT AND JUST GO ON!

There’s an article in Psychology Today, “When everything goes wrong” that speaks to using adversity to get yourself back on track. 

One of the key things is to quiet your mind so you can access your wisdom and strength that is quietly hiding under your anguish. It’s what we use to get us through life on a daily basis.

The holidays have a way of throwing road blocks at us; maybe to test our strength and compassion. We often have to deal with people out of obligation many of which we choose to avoid on a daily basis. Most of my family is gone; I secretly yearn for some of those old faces; many whom I avoided. I always tried to look at their good qualities even if it was just they cooked great eggplant parmigiana! My dad looked at every stressful situation in a humorous way–thank goodness I inherited some of that!

  •  #adverserialmethod #Pyshcolgytoday #Samcawthorn #thingswillwork out #lisbethcalandrino #redhotcustomerservice #Virginiasatir

Lisbeth has spend much of her life helping others define their dreams and achieve their goals. For more about Lisbeth or to schedule a tete-ah-tete ( you know, a private conversation), check in with her at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com and schedule it.  

 

Share This:
Read More
20 06, 2018

Wow, I Have Really Been Off my Game!

By |2018-06-20T10:05:00-04:00June 20th, 2018|Categories: Blog, Building a Brand, Building relationships, Motivation and change|Tags: , |Comments Off on Wow, I Have Really Been Off my Game!

Share This:

 

I really owe you my dear reader, an apology. I haven’t posted since April 2018. What have I been doing? You know life isn’t supposed to get in the way of your business, but mine sure has. Like many of you, every so often we reach a crossroads in our life. Where am I and what should I do next? I know I love all of you, your notes and your phone calls so I don’t want to leave you. I want to make it more interesting. I’ve put together a bunch more for you! By the way, I’ve started sending new weekly emails through Followyourcustomer–I am adding you to the list. You can opt out if you don’t like them.

I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

Many of you know I spend a lot of time at the gym—Yoga, Pilates and lifting weights. I also meditate. This helps me stay centered and clear out my thought process. I also attend lots of movies; they give me different ideas.

I am working on a series of online video training programs; when they are ready for release,  you will be the first to know. I am also intending to do a weekly show, WHITEBOARD WEDNESDAY, A FIVE MINUTE TIP AND TRICKS SERIES. I’m intending to make everything fun and would love your thoughts and ideas on what you would like.

Thank you so much for sticking with me; for some of you it has been almost 10 years! I started blogging on July 25, 2008! Maybe I should recycle some of them? Actually I like one called “Overcoming Objections: What about the Ones you Can’t Overcome?” I will find it for you.

Here are some photos of the garden, it’s been a rough year for one of my kitties, Rainyday. He has a terminal disease but he is still making the most of life.

Again I thank  you for bringing me into your life.

Hugs, Lisbeth

Lisbeth has been a motivational speaker and trainer for over 20 years. Her book “Red Hot Customer Service” was voted one of the top customer service books. Look for her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To book a consultation, call her at 518.495-5380, EST, or email her at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com.

 

Share This:
Read More
29 05, 2017

Why Captain Jerry Yellin’s Story Matters to all of us

By |2017-09-27T18:48:48-04:00May 29th, 2017|Categories: Motivation and change|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

Share This:
 
One year ago, I met Jerry Yellin In Fairfield, Iowa at the home of Ginger and Jim Belilove. Jim is an associate of mine from the floorcovering industry; he is also a very dear friend of Capt. Yellin. Six months before my meeting, Jim asked if I might help raise money for a film he was producing, “Last Man Standing,” a documentary about Captain Yellin.
 
“It would be great if you spent time with Jerry and got to know him, said Jim, you will understand how important the story is to Jerry and its impact on the world.”
 
I didn’t realize this would include a trip to the 45th National Stearman Fly-In, at Galesburg, IL where I would watch Captain Yellin as he flew a Stearman, and I would experience a ride in one of the open-cockpit biplanes. The culmination of the day would be Captain Yellin speaking about how he learned to fly. This is something I will never forget.
 
Prior to meeting Captain Yellin, I had no real experience with war.
 
With television just coming of age in the late 40’s, there were no cameras on the battle field, literally there was nothing to know. Contrast that with today when we are actually on the battlefield.
 
None of my relatives had served so war was nothing we discussed. It wasn’t until I was 9 years old; I had my first awakening of war horrors. I lived in a small town where all the mail was brought to the same mailbox. I used to deliver the mail to the neighbors, and one day a very official letter came from the Department of Defense. I ran to deliver this important-looking letter and stood there while Cissy Sharp started screaming and crying. The letter informed her that her brother had been killed in the Korean War. This is when I began to understand the pain of war. When my friends started returning from Viet Nam, I learned about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, another side effect of war.
 
I didn’t know what meeting Jerry would mean. Jerry would be a real ‘in person’ awakening for me. This would be when I would understand that war produces living casualties; those returning soldiers with PTSD. I spent a week walking and talking with Jerry. That meant trips to the gym, the golf course and watching Jerry engage with many of his friends. Jerry also talk me about the David Lynch Foundation and the Operation Worrier Wellness.
 
Saying that Jerry is charismatic is an understatement. Jerry is also very humble; he understands people, and time spent with him is transforming. It made me question my thoughts about war and those heroes that are fighting for my liberty. Never again will a pass a veteran without thanking the soldier for fighting for my freedom.
 
As you could tell from the May 28, New York Post article, “WWII’s ‘last fighter pilot’ relives the fateful flight—and the PTSD that followed.” Capt. Yellin is a dynamic man, with a very sharp memory and definite opinions about war.
 
I remember Captain Yellin telling me if you thought you were shooting at real people; you would never have been able to do it. You were fighting so we would all be free. Until 9/11, I never thought about my freedom, did you?
 
As Captain Yellin stated in this interview with The NY Post, “If you want wanna stop war, everybody would go to war naked. Then nobody would know who to shoot.” Television has shown us that war is very real and we are fighting with real people; who are very much like us.
 
If you are interested in helping Captain Yellin complete his documentary, please go to Fundabilities.com, “Last Man Standing.” All donations are tax deductible.
 
Lisbeth Calandrino is a speaker and trainer. To have her speak at your event, contact her at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com.
Share This:
Read More
2 01, 2017

Are you Still Worrying About the Past?

By |2017-09-27T19:11:36-04:00January 2nd, 2017|Categories: Motivation and change|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Share This:
What should you worry about?

What should you worry about?

If so you’re not alone. Why do people bring up the past as if it belonged in the present?

If so you’re not alone. Why do people bring up the past as if it belonged in the present?

I love this quote from Art Markman, Ph.D., “When we look back on events from our youth, we are likely to remember many things as being excellent, or awesome, or brilliant. We just forget how we decided on their excellence or brilliance. With a broader base of experience as an adult, it takes a lot for us to be truly awed. So we decide that things must have been better when we were younger.”

It’s not that things were better in the past, it just seems that way! Think about your first kiss, your favorite song was playing, it was a warm summer night, you just saw a great movie and then you kissed. You can never replay this feeling.

The key is to stop comparing everything in the past to the present. I have a friend who always says, “When I was in California, I did this, that and the other thing. (That’s how my mom would put it.) Now my friend does relatively nothing buy go to work!

Five things you can do to make the present awesome:

Stop comparing yourself to others. When you start comparing it means ‘you are less than.’  I remember my first prom and the dress I wanted. It was lovely—long and poufy with 3 roses on the waist. Mom said we couldn’t afford it so I wore a pink, frilly one that I hated.  I was sure people would laugh at me in the pink dress. No one really cared; they were too busy worrying about their own dresses.

Decide to make every day awesome.  Why not love everything about today and find ways to make it special. Today I looked out the window and the sun was reflecting off the snow. It really was lovely; lots of twinkling. I am focusing the beauty rather than the temperature.

Surprise yourself! What can you do that’s out of the ordinary? Put a purple streak in your hair. That would be cool. Make yourself your favorite dessert. Take a different class in the gym; something you’ve thought about but just haven’t done.

Go to the movies and get out of the house! This is my favorite. Many of you stay home and watch Movies at home. Not me, I like laughing with people I don’t know and to treat myself to my favorite tea.

Think about what you can do to influence tomorrow? What would you like to be different next year? Is there somewhere you would like to go? Is there a new skill you want to learn? Do you need some new skills or a new hair style?

Tomorrow today will become your past; make it a good one.

., “When we look back on events from our youth, we are likely to remember many things as being excellent, or awesome, or brilliant. We just forget how we decided on their excellence or brilliance. With a broader base of experience as an adult, it takes a lot for us to be truly awed. So we decide that things must have been better when we were younger.”

It’s not that things were better in the past, it just seems that way! Think about your first kiss, your favorite song was playing, it was a warm summer night, you just saw a great movie and then you kissed. You can never replay this feeling.

The key is to stop comparing everything in the past to the present. I have a friend who always says, “When I was in California, I did this, that and the other thing. (That’s how my mom would put it.) Now my friend does relatively nothing buy go to work!

Five things you can do to make the present awesome:

Stop comparing yourself to others. When you start comparing it means ‘you are less than.’  I remember my first prom and the dress I wanted. It was lovely—long and’ poufy’  with 3 roses on the waist. Mom said we couldn’t afford it so I wore a pink, frilly one that I hated.  I was sure people would laugh at me in the pink dress. No one really cared; they were too busy worrying about their own dresses.

Decide to make every day awesome.  Why not love everything about today and find ways to make it special. Today I looked out the window and the sun was reflecting off the snow. It really was lovely; lots of twinkling. I am focusing the beauty rather than the temperature.

Surprise yourself! What can you do that’s out of the ordinary? Put a purple streak in your hair. That would be cool. Make yourself your favorite dessert. Take a different class in the gym; something you’ve thought about but just haven’t done.

Go to the movies and get out of the house! This is my favorite. Many of you stay home and watch Movies at home. Not me, I like laughing with people I don’t know and to treat myself to my favorite tea.

Think about what you can do to influence tomorrow? What would you like to be different next year? Is there somewhere you would like to go? Is there a new skill you want to learn? Do you need some new skills or a new hair style?

Tomorrow today will become your past; make it a good one.

Today is the only day you can change.

Today is the only day you can change.

Do you need some change in your business? Not sure what it is but you know things have to be different?  Call Lisbeth, 518-495-5380.

Share This:
Read More
30 12, 2016

Don’t let Your Anger get the Best of you

By |2017-09-27T19:22:45-04:00December 30th, 2016|Categories: Motivation and change|Tags: , |0 Comments

Share This:
Thanks to career intelligence.com for the photo.

Thanks to career intelligence.com for the photo.

Today I was in Staples at the checkout counter. (You know, no matter how “enlightened” you are, there are times when someone gets the best of you.)

The salesclerk asked  the customer if he wanted a bag and the customer went off. “Doesn’t every customer get a bag?” he asked. Next he got into it with the debit machine. It was too slow for him. The clerk was cool, but I was beginning to get really annoyed. I would have loved to have told him to shove off. We can’t expect salespeople to know how to handle angry customers but he did a great job.

Have you ever been in a situation like this?

Before you know it, your “button” has been pushed, and suddenly you wish you could eat your words. It’s tempting to want to preserve your good name or make statements to defend yourself. It’s only natural but there are more strategic ways to handle these encounters.

Here are five ways to stay ahead of someone’s anger.

First, take a deep breath and keep your thoughts to yourself. You don’t have to answer immediately. I know it sounds a bit simplistic but why make it complicated? You will thank yourself immediately. I know this doesn’t sound easy, but it really is. Once you take a deep breath it gives you a moment to respond by asking the right questions not responding to the allegations. Sure you have to “think about on your feet” but it’s something we should all learn. Every time you respond to these comments, you have acknowledged that there’s probably some truth to them. Most likely, they’re true for the person slinging the mud, but why must they be to you?

Get one step ahead of the argument. You do this by asking for an example of the behavior they’re accusing you of. This forces them to think and gives you more time to relax and format your response. When this happens you are also in a better position to evaluate the rationality of the accusation.

Why not be receptive to suggestions as to how you can address their concerns. Why not ask, what have I to lose? It shows you’re willing to learn. Just the fact that you are willing to learn will dispel their anger. Don’t be afraid to listen to what is being said, not how it feels. When our feelings get attacked, we go on the defense.

Shove your indignant feelings aside and be inquisitive. Remember, the person that asks questions is in control. The minute you start answering questions, you’re on the wrong side of the argument. Try to understand the allegations on a higher level are if you were defending someone else.

If someone is really angry, take the deep breath and ask if you can start over. This allows the other person to also back in control. Remember they are angry because they are also feeling threatened. Many people aren’t logical and when they’re upset they only know how to express themselves on an emotional level. It’s not personal. #trainingsalespeople #controlling anger