My next door neighbor talks incessantly about needing to lose weight. The doctor has told her several times over the last two years that she’s about 40 pounds overweight. She is 4’11; not much ‘wiggle room’ as they say but everytime I invite her to go to the gym she has an excuse. For some reason, she’s not up to it.
I finally asked her, “What does how you’re feeling have to do with your going to the gym?” I know she found this annoying but I was focused on her end result which was losing weight. “If I don’t feel like it I don’t have to go, she replied. Why are you so tough on me?”
“If I’m tired, I’m tired so I don’t have to do something I don’t like.”
Interesting isn’t it? My friend is not alone, we are often willing to give up long term goals for short term goals that make us feel better! Sometimes you actually forget your long term goals!
There is another term for this, it’s called procrastination. Procrastination is a nasty word; if you can’t get yourself moving, you live in the world of procrastination. If you don’t push through it, you’ll find yourself getting anything done.
No, some goals aren’t easy to obtain. In fact some are really difficult.
What gets in our way? We allow our feelings to get in the way.
We forget that we established the long term goal because of the payoff.
Suppose the doctor tells says you need to lose 20 pounds in 3 months so you can get off your diabetes meds. It’s Been hard to get your diabetes under control but your doctor says it’s essential. You agree and decide you’re going to the gym and off you go. You go once and after that you can’t seem to get yourself there. You have the usual short term excuses , it’s too hot, too cold or your’re too tired.
What can you do to solve this problem and get our of your own way?
Try these things:
Remember that long term goal? If it’s losing weight so you can get into that shirt, try it on everyday. I love this expression, “Do you want to be sore, or sorry later?” Stay focused, write it down, leave notes on the refrigerator, under your pillow–get obsessed with getting it done. Don’t touch any food outside your home. Tell people you’re allergic! Actually you are allergic.
Remind yourself why it’s so important to reach your goal and how good you will feel. Only you know what things are important and why. It’s also better to keep your goals to yourself rather than sharing them with the world. Keeping your word to yourself is a big commitment and most people find it very difficult. You need support not criticism.
If you’ve ever been to Weight Watchers you know what it’s like to be surrounded by people who are working towards their goal.Why does Weight Watchers work?
Everyone in the group is on your side! In Charles Duhigg says in his book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, “When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real.”Write a commitment letter to yourself and forwarded it to you friend and ask them to hold you accountable. Ask them if they have a goal they would like to meet and tell them you’ll be happy to hold them accountable!
Want to get healthy, hang out with healthy people! As suggests that those trying to remain sober should stay away from their old drinking buddies and the places where they used to hangout.
Don’t let your feelings get you off your path. They are used to showing up and ruling your life. Don’t let them do it, tell them to get our of your way. You may have to pretend they don’t exist. If you have a little voice that gets you off track–have a conversation with it, explain you’re not interested in his or her point of view. It’s like talking with Siri on your IPhone, what does she really know?
Each of us is on a journey called ‘our lives.’ Make yours and magnificent as you can.
Lisbeth Calandrino has been a Business Strategist; Trainer and Professional Coach for over 20 years. To connect with me and discuss what keeps you up at night, reach me at 518.495.5380 or at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com. Here’s a link to my blog—you can sign up to receive them regularly if you like, https://lisbethcalandrino.com/ or connect with me through Floorcoveringnews.net, and my column LisBiz Strategies.
It’s great knowing everything isn’t it? Sure it is, you’ve spent your whole life becoming the expert.
YES, I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU AND ME. THIS WEEK I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW! LET ME EXPLAIN MY THOUGHTS.
Once you feel you’ve mastered something, like being the expert on your job or in a sport, it gives you a good feeling. People call you for advice and want your ‘opinion.’ Did you ever think that being an expert isn’t all it’s cut out to be? Are you getting tired of the phone calls?
Did you ever think that being an expert has a downside? I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to become an expert on certain things. In my mind, if I’m not an expert, why would you hire me?
THIS WEEK I FOUND OUT I’M WRONG. SOMEONE SAID I GAVE THEM A ‘GOOD KICK IN THE PANTS,’ AND THEY LEARNED SOMETHING NEW. WOW. I GUESS THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE AFTER.
When we become experts, we develop patterns of behaviors that make life easier. Patterns we can replay whenever we need to. We rely on them to guide us so that we always get the same results.
I suggested to my friend that we drove a different way to the mall. Not only did she get upset, she got damn angry with me.
“I like everything the same she said, I’m trying to simplify my life and not have any surprises that will throw me off track.”
In my mind, that meant the track to boredom; I didn’t say anything, I kept driving. Just to give you some more insight, she takes a lot of antidepressant medications; I don’t have to tell you why do I?
What would happen if you practiced trying to be a non-expert? Suppose I told you it would make you more creative, less ‘stuck’ and possibly happier—what would you think?
I was listening to an interesting podcast on Masters of Scale, hosted by LinkedIn Co-Founder and Greylock Partner, Reid Hoffman. Those of you that have spoken to me know I’m enamored’ to “Masters of Scale” and it’s how motivate myself. The podcasts are all centered on people that have taken major leaps to try something new. Their leaps are based on ‘hunches,’ or ‘where the world is going,’ and then getting on a new bandwagon. Most of the people are experts in something but are bored being experts and knowing everything. They are looking for a new bandwagon.
I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING; IF I HAD ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD I WOULD LOOK FOR A NEW BANDWAGON TOO. OH REALLY?
WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE CURIOUS AND LIKE LEARNING NEW THINGS?
I’m no different than you; I’ve spent 20 years becoming the expert. I’m finding it isn’t what it’s cut out to be.
I’M A LITTLE BORED! WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Being the expert is a great skill; it means we don’t need to re-learn every time we encounter something or someone we don’t know. We have developed patterns of behavior which we can re-play whenever we need to. We rely on our previous patterns of behavior to guide us, which often means we experience the same results.
We spend our whole lives trying to become experts on what we do and what we know. We see ourselves and strive at being the ‘best’ in their profession.
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT IS THERE? ACTUALLY, THERE IS.
When you continually hone your skills, you shut out everything else that threatens them. Consider the salesperson who thinks if he knows everything about (let’s say carpet) he doesn’t want to hear about any other products or what’s happening in the ‘tile’ side of things. He’s also not interested in learning new sales tips or anything about ‘customer touch points.’ All he knows is everything that happens in the store with customers, he has it ‘down pat.’
THIS WEEK I’VE DECIDED I WILL READ BEFORE I GO TO BED—NO MORE TV.
I WILL LISTEN TO PODCASTS WHEN I’M ON THE TREADMILL—NO MORE TV. SURE TV IS EASY; I GET TO LIVE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S WORLD, TAKE ON THEIR PERSONALITIES AND SHARE THEIR EMOTIONS.
I’M FIVE DAYS INTO MY NEW WORLD, AND IT’S INTERESTING. I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ME.
I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING; IF YOU HAD GIZZILION DOLLARS YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING ELSE TOO. REALLY?
You really don’t need all the money in the world; you just need to test ‘not being the expert.’ Try a sport you’re not good at, listen to a different podcast, learn a new language. Put yourself in an uncomfortable place—not to worry, you can always go back to the safe “expert” place.
Visit MastersofScale.com to get a copy of the transcript of this broadcast.
#gettingmotivated #learningsomethingnew #takingaleap #learningnewthings #learning #Mastersofscale #beingtheexpert #founderofLinkedIn #Greylockpartner #TakealeapElleGibson #womenoflife#Lisbethcalandrino#Redhotcustomerservice#fabulousfloorsmagazine
The only way you know if you’re good at it is the response you get from your target audience. Roses seem to be the flower of choice for Valentine’s Day, but not everyone likes roses.
The key is knowing your audience.
Let’s talk about something we all understand; pricing. Pricing merchandise is more than a system, it’s an art. What makes the Tag Heuer, Monaco watch sell for $25,000, on sale ; don’t you wonder what it costs to manufacture the product?
In some ways it looks like many other watches except the face is very unique. More than the look is the romance and history behind the watch. Yes, you can say it’s the name, but how did they build it?
This is how the watch is explained:
In 1969, TAG Heuer released the first automatic chronograph, and broke with tradition by creating the first square waterproof case to house it. The Monaco became an instant icon on the wrist of legendary actor Steve McQueen in the 1970 film, Le Mans. TAG Heuer continues to break all the rules with the revolutionary Monaco V4, the world’s first timepiece with a belt-driven transmission.
Notice the first line, speaking about an “automatic chronograph with a square waterproof case to house it.” When I first read it I wasn’t sure it was a car or a watch! How about you?
Check out this description of a boring black dress:
Typical product description:
The Indie Dress features a cross-over neckline and empire bodice. Made from 18.5 micron New Zealand merino wool. Side slash pockets. Relaxed Hood. Machine washable. By Ibex.
Product description with personality
Free yourself from fussy when you pull on the Indie. Cross-over neckline and empire bodice move easily from well-dressed to “WOW,” but never compromises on easy care and comfort. Made of the finest blend of merino wool from only the best and happiest New Zealand sheep. 18.5 micron means wool so fine that there’s zero itch. Side slash pockets, relaxed hood. Machine washable. By Ibex.
Tips for ‘romancing your products:
1. Make it personal, ’ how would my life change or be different if I bought your product?
2. Why should I buy it; what makes ‘IT’ different than a similar product?
3. Why can’t I live without it?
“Whisper more sweet nothing in my ear. You may think actions speak louder than words, and a picture is worth a thousand of them, but you’d be amazed at what the right words can accomplish.” Jeff Greenhouse.
Lisbeth has been helping businesses build marketing and sales strategies for over 20 years. To schedule a consultation or have you speak at your business, reach her at 518.495.5380. www.lisbethcalandrino.com.
The question is how much pain do we have to endure to change a behavior? Even if the behavior is really destructive we have trouble changing.
My friend was given a gorgeous, glass dining room set ; it’s quite large with six chairs. It is actually too big for her kitchen but it was free. It is so large, that every time she has to get to the refrigerator; she hits her back end on the corner of the glass table. She actually has several large bruises from the dining room table. Why wouldn’t she want to lose that weight?
So what makes people change?As Wayne Dyer says, “Your reality is shaped by your thoughts.”
Let me give you the rest of the story. My friend is my height, 4’11” and weighs 155 pounds. Twenty years ago, she weighed 110, like me. The doctor told her that she was ‘obese,’ and said it was paramount that she lose weight. My friend continues to complain about why she can’t lose weight, but that’s another story.
Why don’t we change when it’s obviously in our best interest?
I know when I don’t go to the gym I feel lousy. Lousy because I say that physical fitness is the cornerstone of my life and I’m violating my standards. Regular exercise is how I live my life.
I also think about my health and the long term effects of not exercising. The other day someone said, “Have a piece of pizza.” To which I replied, “It’s not on my menu.” To this they replied, “It’s only one time, you don’t do it every day.”
Think about having one donut a week for 52 weeks. The predictability of that outcome for my cholesterol is easy to predict. They say that 90% of our problems were predictable 2 years before, we just ignore the signs.
If you’re not changing, and want to, you might look at the source of the pressure. Is it someone else telling you it would be a good idea if you changed? Is your doctor telling you to lose weight. Obviously health is not really a priority for her even though she works in the health field. She obviously, like so many of us, doesn’t think about the the outcome of long term obesity. Is it better to have diabetes and high blood pressure?
If change is on your horizon, but you can’t seem to get there, examine your motives and have a serious talk talk with yourself. Ask yourself, is your change part of your values or someone else’s?
If the values don’t belong to you, that’s why you’re not changing. If you still want to change, you have lots of work to do.
Lisbeth Calandrino has been helping businesses institute change for over 20 years. If there’s something you would like to change in your business or personal life, contact Lisbeth for a heart-to-heart chat.
Thanks to Glen Llopis for the photo on change.