My next door neighbor talks incessantly about needing to lose weight. The doctor has told her several times over the last two years that she’s about 40 pounds overweight. She is 4’11; not much ‘wiggle room’ as they say but everytime I invite her to go to the gym she has an excuse. For some reason, she’s not up to it.
I finally asked her, “What does how you’re feeling have to do with your going to the gym?” I know she found this annoying but I was focused on her end result which was losing weight. “If I don’t feel like it I don’t have to go, she replied. Why are you so tough on me?”
“If I’m tired, I’m tired so I don’t have to do something I don’t like.”
Interesting isn’t it? My friend is not alone, we are often willing to give up long term goals for short term goals that make us feel better! Sometimes you actually forget your long term goals!
There is another term for this, it’s called procrastination. Procrastination is a nasty word; if you can’t get yourself moving, you live in the world of procrastination. If you don’t push through it, you’ll find yourself getting anything done.
No, some goals aren’t easy to obtain. In fact some are really difficult.
What gets in our way? We allow our feelings to get in the way.
We forget that we established the long term goal because of the payoff.
Suppose the doctor tells says you need to lose 20 pounds in 3 months so you can get off your diabetes meds. It’s Been hard to get your diabetes under control but your doctor says it’s essential. You agree and decide you’re going to the gym and off you go. You go once and after that you can’t seem to get yourself there. You have the usual short term excuses , it’s too hot, too cold or your’re too tired.
What can you do to solve this problem and get our of your own way?
Try these things:
Remember that long term goal? If it’s losing weight so you can get into that shirt, try it on everyday. I love this expression, “Do you want to be sore, or sorry later?” Stay focused, write it down, leave notes on the refrigerator, under your pillow–get obsessed with getting it done. Don’t touch any food outside your home. Tell people you’re allergic! Actually you are allergic.
Remind yourself why it’s so important to reach your goal and how good you will feel. Only you know what things are important and why. It’s also better to keep your goals to yourself rather than sharing them with the world. Keeping your word to yourself is a big commitment and most people find it very difficult. You need support not criticism.
If you’ve ever been to Weight Watchers you know what it’s like to be surrounded by people who are working towards their goal.Why does Weight Watchers work?
Everyone in the group is on your side! In Charles Duhigg says in his book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, “When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real.”Write a commitment letter to yourself and forwarded it to you friend and ask them to hold you accountable. Ask them if they have a goal they would like to meet and tell them you’ll be happy to hold them accountable!
Want to get healthy, hang out with healthy people! As suggests that those trying to remain sober should stay away from their old drinking buddies and the places where they used to hangout.
Don’t let your feelings get you off your path. They are used to showing up and ruling your life. Don’t let them do it, tell them to get our of your way. You may have to pretend they don’t exist. If you have a little voice that gets you off track–have a conversation with it, explain you’re not interested in his or her point of view. It’s like talking with Siri on your IPhone, what does she really know?
Each of us is on a journey called ‘our lives.’ Make yours and magnificent as you can.
Lisbeth Calandrino has been a Business Strategist; Trainer and Professional Coach for over 20 years. To connect with me and discuss what keeps you up at night, reach me at 518.495.5380 or at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com. Here’s a link to my blog—you can sign up to receive them regularly if you like, http://lisbethcalandrino.com/ or connect with me through Floorcoveringnews.net, and my column LisBiz Strategies.