How many times do you ask for help for do you think you should do everything yourself? I’m one of those who pride myself on being able to do most things. That was until yesterday when my car had a major problem, and it will take two days to get the part. I’m getting ready to go on vacation and have lots of last minute things to do, plus I can’t get to the gym. While I was walking home from the garage, I started thinking about my plight. There was an event I wanted to attend, and I was without transportation. I realized I don’t mind helping others, but I don’t like asking for help.
If I can do it, myself does that make me smart? On the other side, if I can’t do it, does that make me stupid? It probably doesn’t do either one, but we make up our own definitions. If I let you do it for me, does that make me stupid, and you’re smart? Do I take away from my own smartness if I allow you to do it for me?
Now that I’ve listed the downside of asking, what about the upside to asking for help? Why wouldn’t I want you to be smart? I pride myself in having intelligent friends so why not let them be who they are?
By allowing your friends to help, I am empowering both of us to show our value.
It felt funny to ask for a ride to the event, a ride to pick up cat litter and a ride to go to lunch. No one hesitated to help, in fact; they seemed to enjoy it.
Why does the opposite of strength have to be weakness? Understanding the strengths of others just allows me to know them better and what that person brings to the table. I get to value the diversity of my friends and also know what I can depend on them for. I have a friend who is afraid to drive out of the neighborhood. Because of her scare, her world is shrinking. I have often felt she was weak, according to my standards, but I realize on many other levels; she is very strong. I just need not to judge her by my standards and realize what gifts she has to offer.
If you own your own business, everyone has a part to play. When you do their job for them, you actually steal their education. Are we also stealing their self-respect?
I never realized I would learn so much from not having a car!
Lisbeth Calandrino has been helping business owners get smarter for over 20 years. To schedule a consultation or have her speak to your employees, reach her at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com. She lives in Historic Hudson Park, Albany, New York, with her cat Rainyday.