Lis Calandrino

Are you running after BSOs (Bright Shiny Objects) rather than sticking with the tried and true strategies that built your business? If your strategy revolves around your past customers, it still works; it just may need an update. There’s no need to change your strategy in midstream. I know customer service might sound boring to some of you, but great customer service still works. The words are the same but the stakes are higher and what passes as customer service is passé.

There was an interesting article in the New York Times about Miley Cyrus. (What We Talk About When We Talk About Miley, July 11, 2010). According to E-Poll Market Research, Miley’s appeal to her core group of customers, ages 13-17, has dropped from 45% to 24%. It seems that Miley is beginning a new chapter in her life. A seemingly nude photo of her with a short drape wrapped around her chest in Vanity Fair, a whirl around the stripper pole wearing bird wings and black ribbon corset now defines the new phenomenon known as Hannah Montana. The fans are mortified and leaving her for Selena Gomez and other role models more to their liking. They’re embarrassed.

Maybe this isn’t a bad move but the transition might have been a little smoother. The fans that Miley’s after may also have trouble viewing the new, all grown up 17 year old. Apparently Miley was seen in a video post on MTV giving a lap dance to a 44 year old director! The 17 year old isn’t legal to get into a bar to perform. The fans that built her business are leaving her in boat loads; can she replace them that fast? Could she have kept them, grown up with them?
Is she afraid she will get stale? Did someone tell her she needed to grow up; it wasn’t her customers.
Are you afraid your business is getting stale? If you’re having an ongoing dialog with them they will tell you what you need to do to stay on track. It seems that Sam’s Club, a division of Wal-Mart, has been surveying their customers to figure out how they might help them. Many of their customers are small businesses who, according to a survey by the National Federation of Independent Businesses, have had trouble getting business loans. In fact only half were able to borrow last year compared to 90% in the mid 2000s.

In order to do this Sam’s Club must assess if the firms were rejected due to the overall caution of banks or due to their weak balance sheets and cash flow. Maybe the companies are not credit worthy.

There are several powerful incentives to spur Sam’s on. Companies with access to capital are more likely to buy products and service from Sam’s Club so the money carries very little risk. Again, finding what your customers need will help you evaluate your customer service.

Do you know what your customers need? Have you changed accordingly? Toys R Us are pushing their customers to ‘save with them’ for Christmas by offering 3% interest if they open a Christmas savings club with them. Like the old fashion Christmas Clubs of the past they are trying to make sure their customers have money to spend. Target is giving customers 5% off on all their purchases if they use the Target credit card.

Consider redefining your customer service with your customer’s help. What about your small business customers? What are you doing to help them stay in business?

Maybe Wal-Mart is redefining customer service?

How do you feel when you’re on the sales floor or in the warehouse? Are you excited, happy to be there? When was the last time you walked out of a shop or put down the phone after purchasing a product and immediately you yelled WOW was that great? Funny isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be great if your customers would feel that way about your business every time they dealt with you or your employees?

How many times have you felt your customer was interference and how much better your day would be if customers just weren’t around? By the way, you’re not the only one who thinks this way. Plenty of small business owners get burnt out and begin to dislike their customers. If you’re going to run a successful business you will have to find a way to get your customers to yell this place is Red Hot!

Here are some simple tips to get your customers pumped up and ready to do business with you again. These positive responses will make you feel better and impact your bottom line.

Promise and deliver

Too many businesses are reluctant to commit to anything and customers walk away with a nagging feeling that nothing good is going to come from this transaction. Check out your business, what “promisables” can you highlight in your marketing and sales stuff? How many things can you turn into ‘over promise and over, over deliver?’ Forget the under promise and over deliver. If you can’t do it better than right, don’t do it.

Or, consider becoming Tony the Tiger.

For 54 years on the back of the Frosted Flakes Box, he growled, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat. He's excited and smiling and he made you feel great. Are your staff feeling Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat? Are they filled with enthusiasm, excited and happy?

The only impression is the first impression. Is everyone modern, clean, fresh looking or worn and tired out? Are your customers saying Red Hot for all the wrong reasons?
Step up to the plate You are the problem solver, step up and do the job. Everyone says they give great customer service until there’s a problem. No one wants to hear the complaint or deal with the unhappy customer. This is when the customer service starts. Fix problems quick and efficiently.

Become the customer’s good friend. When a business owner recognizes me, I’m putty. The more time they give me and show me they care the more I want to buy. Turn strangers into friends.

Give a ton of value for the money. Go for medium price and great quality, this will always create Red Hot.

Call them, call them and call them. Don’t call just because there’s a problem, call when everything is great and rejoice with your customers.

Make your list of ‘promisables’ and teach everyone to deliver the best.

Resources:

Red Hot Customer Service: 35 Sizzling Ways to Heat Up Your Business and Ignite Your Sales

The era of ‘glass houses’ and the ‘transparent generation’ have a lot of people nuts. If you grew up in my era this is how it went: If your sister drank it was a family secret and you did your best to keep it away from your friends or even your cousins. Life was all about secrets. Today the same scenario if done properly could land you a television script, a movie part or a spot on Oprah. The least would be a video uploaded to YouTube, an interview with your drunken sister, a book deal or at least a blog and a minute of fame somewhere. It’s no wonder the over-50 crowd can’t get a handle onthis and are wondering why?

According to a recent survey of execs from 100 companies of varying sizes, 78% of respondents said their companies were using social media — but just 41% said they had a strategic plan. Four out of ten active Facebook users say the site is a good way to get information about companies and products. It seems like every business is on Facebook except your business. Does this help you know what they’re doing?

It's alarming but not terribly surprising that half the companies using social media are basically flying without a parachute. This is not where you want to be in the new land of ‘transparency.’

We’ve seen it all or at least most of it. Someone can Google your name, take an aerial photo of your home or find out your social medial standings by downloading Xobni. Xobni is an Outlook plug-in that helps you search, organize your inbox and categorize your emails. It’s pretty amazing and pretty intrusive. Customers have access to complaints.com, ripoffreport.com and pissedoffconsumer.com to name a couple; all these sites are set up to let consumers vent.

As a person you can be as private as you like, as a business it’s more challenging. Prior to the Internet, consumers had no place to go other then the Better Business Bureau, who was kind enough to call you and let you know you had a complaint. If you’re really a celebrity or have annoyed enough people the complaint will be Twittered away and you may be the last to know. Let’s face it, the consumers are in charge and the best thing you can do is manage your online presence. Remember the story about your sister?

• Rule number one, shut up and listen. Don’t make any excuses even if you’re right. Customers aren’t always right but if you want to keep them, you will have to make them right. Sometimes if the comment is online a happy customer will come to your defense. Don’t wait too long; you will have to take it on.
• Become a super-sleuth and investigate your business. Know what consumers are saying about your business and where they’re saying it. Make a point to regularly monitor comments about your business. This includes Facebook and other social media haunts. This is one of the reasons you need a Facebook page. According to Trendwatching.com, Facebook is nearing 500 million users. The average user has 130 friends, spends 55 minutes a day on the site and receives three ‘event invitations’ to real-life gatherings every month. Foursquare allows users to explore their neighborhoods and get rewarded for doing so. This also means an unhappy customer can immediately trash your business.
• Handle the problem immediately. By failing to respond immediately to a serious problem you lose all control of the story. You have got to fill the vacuum of ‘what happened’ before the press or your customers do. Remember the Tiger Woods nonsense.
• Get your happy customers to sing your praises online. Before it hits the fan, and maybe it never will, collect testimonials, videos of ecstatic customers or audio interviews of delighted customers. Upload these to your blog, Facebook or have them plug you on Twitter.
• Have good content on your blog. Good content and useful information on your blog will help connect you to your customers. Someone with great information can’t be all bad.
• Monitor your employee behavior on line. The NFL and colleges monitor their athletes' Facebook pages. Set some employee guidelines for online behavior. Anything you post on Facebook can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Where did I hear that before?

Seven year old Michael was asked on national television why he was wearing the Silly Bandz. His reply, because the kids in school are wearing them. This won’t be the first or last time that people do something because their friends think it’s a good idea. 

Prepare yourself, for those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about. The present fad, as of this blog, is Silly Bandz. Silly Bandz are rubber bands shaped like animals, dinosaurs, sports, princesses, and lots more. They come in a pack and can be found in various stores ranging from $2.99 to $5.00.

Manufacturers and shop owners are having trouble keeping up with the craze that is spreading like wild fire. There are lots to choose from– animals and pirates to roses and water creatures — playgrounds are turning into swap meets. Makers are constantly thinking up new shapes and colors to keep the interest high. I went on EBay to look at the latest styles and was amazed to find Silly Bandz in New York Yankee shapes.

What makes this so crazy and awesome is the simplicity of the business. It’s just colored rubber bands in all kinds of shapes.

What’s this mean to you and me?

Why do we make everything so complex? Sometimes simple is better and simple can make you money. I invite you to think about what you’re making complex that’s really simple? Sometimes simple ideas can ignite a fire faster and longer than you can imagine.

Is there something that’s really simple that you’ve made complex? Maybe simple is simple! The wheel has already been invented.

You don’t need a million dollars to create something, you just need to have an idea and go with it. After a few drinks a friend of mine shared a secret she had been carrying for years. I thought maybe it was a story about the one that got away—not the fish kind, but an unrequited love. No, it turned out to be a drawing of an appliance, a drawing of a side-by-side refrigerator. See this, she said, as she pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that was barely legible. I invented this years and years ago but never had enough guts to get a prototype built. Why do you carry it I asked? It’s to remind myself that life is short and getting shorter.

What’s that mean to you? When you’re thinking about starting a business, don’t make it so damn complex. Instead of telling yourself it might be a bad idea, tell yourself it might be a good idea. Sometimes simple ideas can ignite a fire faster and longer than you could ever imagine. As humans we tend to over think things. Sometimes simple is simple. Find ways to relax so you can dream up some new ideas. My favorite site by the way is Serenity Pathways by my friend Bonnie Snyder.

What else can we learn from Silly Bandz? It started as a fad and now everyone is crazy for them including the 20 year old with 4 on her wrist.

Create something catchy, get a new fad going. If nothing else, go buy a bunch of Silly Bandz and advertise on your web site that for every $1000.00 spent the buyer will get a bag of Silly Bandz. The quicker you get on it the more likely you are to catch the first round of customers. If your customers have kids, after seeing your offer, the kids will drive their parents to your store.

Watch the trends, be on the cutting edge, blog about it. Your customers expect you to be smart, why disappoint them? I just ordered 200 for my next seminar; I don’t want to be left behind! 

Here's my latest blog post over at Talk 1300 called "Become Different and Irresistable".

I’ve been reading how high-growth companies, even in bad times, spend little time thinking about staying with their competitors. Instead, they make their competitors irrelevant. How? By continuously trying different things that will delight their customers, code name: customer service.

High growth companies—irrespective of their industry—all described what has been called the “logic of value innovation.” Firstly, don’t try to get better than your competitors. Instead, become different and irresistible. Look for new markets and find out what they want. Look to customers for the future rather than the present. Always thinking, what would my customers want?

Read the rest here.

Hello friends,

Like many of you I find myself in the midst of change.

Like many of you I liked it the way it was—at least I thought so. Now is the time to try something new, take some risks and give it a try.

Like you, I’m meeting people, talking with my neighbors and finding new ways to be part of my community.

I want to share with you my venture into radio, a great local talk radio station; Talk 1300 AM (in Albany, New York and the Capital District) and Talk1300.com outside the area. The show is called Red Hot Customer Service : all about business and ways to improve your bottom line.

The show is from 10-11 every Sunday morning and archived after the show on Talk1300.com. It also includes a ½ hour guest spot for businesses who are making changes and finding new ways to connect with their customers whether it be through traditional means or through social media. Like many, they are forging new paths. Listen in and get some new ideas for your business.

If you’re interested in being on my show, or have ideas for me, call me at 518-495-5380. In any event, please tune in and let me hear from you.

As always, I wish you the best.

Lisbeth Calandrino

Red Hot Customer Service Promo Ad

Lately I’ve received many calls from panicked customers along the lines of what should I do with my business, I don’t think I can make it? This prompted me to reach back into my 30 year-old Rolodex to make some phone calls.

Thirty years ago I knew who to call. Yesterday I wasn’t so sure. Much to my surprise, the contacts hadn’t changed. Planned Furniture Promotions, an affiliate of Gene Rosenberg Associates, is very much in business. Since 1962 Gene Rosenberg Associates has been considered to be one of most professional and best known promotional specialists in the country. My contact this time was Burt Homonoff, Partner and Vice President of Operations. With so many furniture companies going out of business, the last ones that came to mind for me were Levitz and Wickes Furniture. From what I’ve read, Levitz, at the time of their closing, had 80 stores and had been in business for 100 years.

I asked Burt if we might talk about the furniture industry; it seems like they’re in trouble. Here's my paraphrasing and additional thoughts based on what Burt shared with me.

The consumer has been changing over the past twenty years. Most furniture retailers just missed it. It’s been a gradual change, taking a little chunk out of business yearly. Consumers are using their homes differently. The American dream, a Cadillac in the garage (now it’s a Lexus) and a new living room and bed room set. First it was a media room, a work out room or spa, a game room and of course the in home office for their computers. Consumers are playing Guitar Hero or Wie and not sitting on their sofas.

And the competition has intensified.

According to Furniture Today, furniture in the United States used to be a producer-driven industry. Now, it’s turned into a quasi-buyer-driven industry. Driven by a rise in innovative branding, retailing and marketing, new trends like "life-style branding” are creating whole new niches at the retail end. With innovations in retail, low shipping and import costs, even small retailers are entering the furniture business with new designs and variety.

"It’s all about change," says Burt, "and many furniture retailers missed it."

Many furniture stores still look like the furniture stores of yesterday. They display the same furniture that was in style 10 years ago with the same accessories. They just don’t seem to see the trends or they are "mature" retailers who still think the customer is their age. 

Younger customers, different priorities.

Furniture has taken a low priority on the customers' "have to have" list. Remember when furniture used to be sold only in furniture stores? Now everyone has some type of furniture — from Walmart to Target. In the summer, the grocery stores carry outdoor furniture.

I’ve noticed that brides used to register for furnIture and the other day I saw a story about a couple (in the New York Times) who wanted money for a start up business and were giving “the investors” shares in their new venture! What happened to the brides?
Couples used to ask for bedroom sets, something substantial so they could hand it down to their kids. Then couples started moving around for better jobs and different types of lifestyles; nobody wanted to lug a bedroom set across the country. The same applies to the big dining room sets, very few people entertain on that scale these days. People are looking for furniture that is more inexpensive and disposable.

I see many more “rent to own” furniture stores; I thought they were just for people who couldn’t afford to buy and then I found some of my friends renting furniture. Are they taking market share?

Since this isn’t Burt’s niche I went to check it out. The rent-to-own is a $6.3-billion dollar business. The RTO continues to improve its business, customer service and pricing becoming a viable consumer option in the American economy. The unique rent-to-own transaction sprang up in the 1960s in response to a growing consumer need for acquiring the use of household products without incurring debt or jeopardizing the family’s credit. Rent-to-own customers come from all walks of life, desiring consumer durable goods in their homes without the long-term financial obligations associated with credit sales.

How does IKEA figure in the mix? Consumers rave about the Swedish meatballs and I see that they were serving free breakfast on January 9th. I was in one of the Chicago stores — it was quite impressive.

IKEA is noted for their trendy styles and their great price points. They cater to the new lifestyle, KD (knocked down) furniture, easy styles and definitely disposable. In addition they offer everything including the dishes. A one stop shop. IKEA’S interior design teams create functional and trendy room settings which make the products easier to buy.

Customers want the looks but don’t want to pay the price. They also know if they look long enough they won’t have to pay the price. The average sale has gone from $1500.00 10 years ago to $800.00.

What happened to “Made in the USA?”

As furniture factories have moved to China, their suppliers and related businesses have followed, making the country an exceptionally efficient place to operate. It’s said that labor represents 30% of the cost of production in the United Sates and in China it’s less than 7%. Because product is so cheap, they can easily follow worldwide trends.

Consumers want Toyotas and Lexus's these days, not Chevys.

What should a furniture store do if they’re having trouble and seeing their market share slip away?

• If they’re going to survive and thrive they will have to change, and change quickly.
• Think of the new consumer trends, it’s doubtful that the trends will go backwards. Consumers don’t want to spend money and want disposable furniture. You can’t change the trends and live in "the old days."
• Move into other areas of home furnishings. Carry furniture that fits into consumer’s lifestyles, casual, trendier pieces.
• Consumers don’t want to wait, so quick delivery is even more important. Don’t overstock but have access to a local distributor who can deliver quickly.
  Sounds like another industry needing an overhaul.

Remember, keep on top of trends. Style is constantly changing — sometimes even changing back to what it used to be.

Southern Louisiana Influence, From Glamour to Good Taste

I’m fascinated with my cousin Rosalie’s 450 square foot condominium in Cambridge, MA. It’s amazing how spacious it feels, how unusual the design, and the surprise of elegance in every corner. Thus the magic and daringness of interior architect Phillip Jude Miller. Philip’s magic earned Rosalie’s condominium, Runner up: Home of the Year, in Metropolitan Home Magazine as well as a feature in Fabulous Floor Magazine, 2005, “Boston Going City Slic.”

I met Phillip briefly several months ago in his Cambridge shop, America Dural. It’s filled with antiques, mid-century furniture, art and many more one-of-a–kind items. Rosalie, a long-time friend of Phillip, is always telling me what wonderful pieces he has uncovered, their history and uniqueness. Curiosity and prodding from Rosalie led me to look at some of Phillip’s work.

I recently picked up a copy of New England Home: Celebrating Fine Design and Architecture and came upon an article, Gentlemanly Quarters, November/December 2009 which was the renovation of a Back Bay apartment done by Phillip, an extraordinary renovation combining the luxury of many centuries. This is design at its utmost: breaking all rules and adding new ones for design.

Who is this intriguing designer from Lafayette, Louisiana who breaks rules and creates his own? When I found out Phillip was from Lafayette, Louisiana, I knew we had something in common. Lafayette is one of my favorite places: it’s where I developed my love for Cajun cooking and music.

Imagine my surprise to find that Phillip would be visiting Rosalie and cooking Christmas Eve dinner! Oh dear, he cooks too? "A fabulous cook," says Rosalie. Hopefully I will get to know Phillip a little better.

After dinner I get to sit down with Phillip and his Manchester terrier dog, Otis. They are both very charming, but Phillip is doing the talking.

How did you develop your interest in interiors and architecture?

I grew up in Lafayette, Louisiana, which has its own rich culture of southern Louisiana. The architecture and history of Louisiana is primarily from French history and had a considerable influence on southern architecture, primarily interiors and furniture. The Acadian culture is more visible in our food and the importance of nature in life. I was one of 8 kids and my parents didn’t have time for history and culture but my grandmother did. Southern Louisiana has a special place in history, with its Cajun and French influence. I was always intrigued with the area; it’s not like any other place in the country. I used to love to talk with my grandmother about her family history and experiences in the unique southern way of life in Louisiana.

How did being one of eight make you the Phillip we know today?

I was very quiet, with 8 kids you can hide away. I never really talked at all. When I was three I had a serious burn accident, had to be hospitalized and all of a sudden I started to talk non-stop. I think I had so much attention at the hospital it brought me out of my shell.

I’ve never heard of an interior architect, what does it mean?

In 1978 I started in the school of architecture at the University of Louisiana, but also loved design. In my school experience, architects purely focus on the structure without any interest in how it meshes with the interior furnishings. This would never have been the case with architects leading up to the early twentieth century; Henry Hobson Richardson and Stanford White being great examples. Stanford White (1853-1906), was noted for being the most famous architect of the Gilded Ages. The Bauhaus Movement (1919-1933), had an extremely negative and somewhat fearful reaction to this decoration and emphasized more modernistic architecture. I was never interested in building skyscrapers but realized my architectural and interior design background would be a good combination for my clients.

Luckily one of my professors, knowing my love for design, suggested I move into a new field, interior architecture. She said I could incorporate both design and architecture. At that time, the Architecture Program was 5 years and Interior Architecture/Design was 4 years and the pay for Interior Design was higher than Architecture. I realized I was capable of looking at a project from both sides – architecture and design and the program was a good fit. If I was going to rip the walls down, I was also going to design the interiors.

I know you love art, why do you think art is so important in a home?

Art is very personal; it’s an expression of one’s soul and uniqueness. People are their art. It tells you something about their deeper feelings, and adds another dimension. It also adds a special touch to a home, and with the right guidance, art of significant importance is more accessible than people think. Art can turn a space from simple to elegant and balance texture and mood. Lastly the owner gets to enjoy the beauty of the art; if one chooses the right art, it will increase in value. Every year I make a point to attend The Armory Show in New York City. The Armory Show is considered America’s leading fine art fair devoted to the most influential art of the 20th and 21st centuries. I like to use modern art in my designs and the show keeps me up to date with what’s new. 

What other passions do you have and how do you generate your ideas?

I love the placement of objects, their form and color. When I look at a project I look at it from every angle, inside and out. I don’t think of the rooms separately, I imagine the whole home as one, how it flows and how it feels. I get many of my ideas from the classics, the 1920’s or 30’s; I listen to the client and get a sense of who they are and what moves them. (The house a client chooses and its architecture is an important element that drives the design. One can go with the architecture or contrast it.) I use new and antique side by side. I enjoy opposites, traditionally detailed fabric on clean-lined furniture. I will often take a more formal chair with traditional forms and cover it with a very simple fabric such as burlap. This gives the chair what I call “star quality.” Each room should have something of star quality.

I adore Asian pottery but I’m less knowledgeable than I should be. Asian pottery brings exotic forms and magnificent glazes to the mix.

I’m fascinated with the world, and see new ideas everywhere.

How did you come up with the name for your firm, America Dural?

I struggled with the name of my firm. I wanted it to sound like a business but I wanted to express my identity. I juggled family names in my head and came up with the name of my nanny, America Marie Dural. America raised my mother from infancy and moved in when our family began to expand. She was a very reserved and independent woman of African-American descent who ran our house with a lovingly iron hand. I admired her strength; naming the firm after her allowed me to be closer to her and pay her tribute for all that she had taught me.

What would be the top 10 suggestions you would give to someone who is considering a renovation?

Here's what I think.

1. Plan for the rule and not the exception. People say I want a sofa bed in case I need it. You ask them how many times in the last 20 years they needed a sofa bed and they’ll say never. I had a client with a piano that just didn’t fit in the room; it turned out the piano had never been played by anyone. Once we got rid of the piano, everything started to gel. 
2. I say, love everything in your room but don’t put everything you love in the same room. If one puts every style which attracts them in the same room, it looks like a garage sale. Decide what's important, the antique dresser or the décor chairs. 
3. Mixing style and time periods brings excitement to a space. It also gives rooms a sense of evolution. If mixing styles, they either need to be the same or very different. Don’t put two different camel back sofa styles together. Modern French next to antique English is better than antique French next to antique English, etc. 
4. Always have an element of surprise. All of your favorites don’t have to go in the most obvious places. That favorite painting doesn’t have to go over the fireplace, maybe it’s better shown on the wall as your turn to go into another room. 
5. Good design involves making choices. Any theme should be consistent, either the palette is bright and spring like, or more somber. A good designer can help you with these choices. 
6. Be consistent in your planning by treating the whole home. If you like intense colors then be intense. Don’t paint one red wall because you think you “need” to add excitement. This will throw off the entire home. If you like subtle, then make everything subtle. Your home should have a unified statement which represents what you like. 
7. A designer’s most important role is editing, knowing how to select and mix pieces you love which are compatible with the scale of the space, (or where they will sit, and what they will sit next to.) The home ultimately belongs to the client but the interior designer represents the expertise that the client seeks. Of course many of the ideas and thoughts may be beyond the scope of the client; this is how the interior designer can help. One of the designer’s jobs is to bring the clients sense of “uniqueness” within the elements of good design. 
8. This may sound corny, but there must be a connection between the client and the designer. The designer must be honest with the client and this comes through their connection. Without a connection it’s hard to design what the client wants. Good designers don’t design for themselves, they design for their clients. The client should share their likes and dislikes with their designer as well as look at the designer’s portfolio. Hiring a designer is not like hiring an electrician. There is only one way to wire in a light fixture. Each designer or architect can offer a very different vision. Some might not be compatible with your own. Don’t assume that because someone has a title that it will be a good fit. 
9. In the long run, less is more. If the project is a redesign, the client should share what’s staying and what’s going. Sometimes what you take out is as important as what you put in. Removing or editing what you have can be more effective than adding new pieces. Balance and scale are key.
10. When bringing in colors to coordinate with an important accent in a room such as an area rug, choose the least dominate color in the rug, not the most dominate. This will make the room much more interesting and create that element of surprise. 

There seems to be more, Phillip has invited us up to his summer home in Maine. I’ve heard the gardens are magnificent. 

Want to see more of Phillip Jude Miller? Visit his site.

I picked up a copy of Time Magazine’s article What Women Want Now. It was an interesting eye-opener. 

The most interesting aspect was the difference between where women are now and where we (yes, I was one of them) were in the 70’s with feminism. It seems like women of the 70’s were trying to prove equality; we, of course, know that you are either equal or not, it’s pretty much in your thinking. I have been wondering "how do women see themselves, are we different, do we want different things?"

I write articles on business and also on what women want when it comes to shopping and buying. The data suggests that we like the hunting part as well as the buying but, different than men, the hunt can be as much fun as the capture—we don’t even need to capture to have fun! There have been many books written on us and our shopping habits; why so much on us? Because, as many of you know, we are the primary shoppers for almost every product. As the Time Magazine article points out, we also have the means to shop, with 40% of us earning more than our mates. With this statistic of 40% growing, it’s important to note the changes that have been gradually evolving in businesses over the past 10 years: children’s corners in retail stores, changing stations for babies in airports as well as nursing stations!
I know it’s tough when you work retail and realize your customer may be on a terminal shopping adventure.

Of course, not every female finds shopping that exciting and interesting. But, as noted in Retail Therapy, Life Lessons Learned while Shopping, Tammy Faye Baker Mesner put another point of view so clearly: "I always saw shopping as cheaper than a psychiatrist." All of these past articles somehow support the notion that one has to be crazy to like shopping. According to Barbara Pease, Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, biological evidence seems to support the theory that men and women are quite different from birth and that it’s not easily “explained away” by social conditioning. Brought up on a desert island with no dolls or trucks, girls would want to cuddle and play with dolls while boys would want to compete with each other and form hierarchal groups. 

Bottom line—we’re different.

What does that mean heading into 2010? These questions spurred me to take a workshop from a group called Jness. My questions were: Are we still like we were in the 70’s, trying to prove our worth through our male counterparts? Do we still believe that something has been taken from us and we must prove our ability to fight? It didn’t seem like it.
Jness literature states their purpose as: "Jness is an international organization for women with a mission of providing a warm and inviting environment for women to gather together and discover each other as we find and express our voice in today’s world."
In speaking with one of the founders of Jness, Pamela Cafritz elaborated: "In a fun, social context like this Jnessence weekend, we endeavor to discover the truth, fallacy and humor behind our male society. We want women to be empowered, overjoyed and maybe even emboldened! We bring together women who, like you, want to create a more honorable and compassionate world, and have fun doing it. We think women possess the warmth, heart and vision to bring balance to the world."

I found the workshop to be very eye opening; inductive group exercises designed to examine our place in the world and our concerns for ourselves, our mates and our children. The group consisted of different age groups 30-60, from various countries, each with careers, families and playing many roles. The theme being, as female adults, what roles do we play in society and what are our responsibilities for world change. I know, pretty heavy topics, but we had two whole days to solve these issues…

What I found was an interesting group of women, comfortable with their feminine “skin” and wanting very much to respect others' differences and concerns. The issues of ‘should we work?’, ‘does it matter how much we shop?’, and ‘do you like to cook?’ seem to be a given—not issues to be debated or defended. It really didn’t matter. The participants were interested in camaraderie in the feminine sense as we see it and live it.

The best part about the workshop was listening to other women share their concerns about life, and how that differed from our mothers and grandmothers. I related an interesting conversation I had with my 95 year-old female neighbor, Irma. It was Primary day and I wasn’t going to vote until I ran into Irma. She reminded me of "her time" when she was not allowed to vote; her statement: you have responsibilities to the world. I must say that woke me up.

As I think about my life on earth, which I do quite often, I wonder about my place and my commitment. I realize that I am able to make a difference by understanding others and supporting their beliefs that help them grow. By investing in myself and my learning I inadvertently help the world.

As Socrates said, know thyself.

My experience tells me that the best investment I can make for you and for me is to invest in myself. 

I know you’ve heard it all and don’t know who to believe. Here’s what I think, and by the way, leave me your comments at the end of the blog and tell me what you would do to fix this nightmare.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Tiger Woods, he’s the reason I watch pro golf and the reason I got interested in golf. Maybe you feel the same way. Tiger represents all that’s great about pro athletes: persistency, focus and a willingness to work hard. He also has a beautiful wife, and two cute kids, I’ll stop here.

Okay, everything isn’t so rosy at home.

Supposedly he is surrounded by a force of “geniuses” whose primary job is to build, maintain and protect the brand called “Tiger Woods.” The question is, have they given him the right advice, did they act quickly enough or is Tiger just not paying attention? Does Tiger suffer from the “I know it all disease” off the greens? It wouldn’t surprise me. It isn’t that rare. I've known business owners that feel that because they're good at what they do, they must be good everywhere else, right?  Movie stars know how to stop wars and have opinions on everything, though usually loaded with inaccuracies. I remember Tom Cruise wanting psychiatry outlawed.

The Tiger Camp issued a statement saying that they didn’t know how to deal with Tiger; the whole affair threw them for a loop. My suggestion to Tiger: fire them! Businesses don’t hire experts for the easy stuff. He should have called his mother; she would have told him what to do—tell the truth.

Everyone has the right to privacy; and what you do in your own home is pretty much your own business. If you want to drive your car into your sofa who would care? Well your dog might care. But if you’re going to drive your car into a fire hydrant and back into a tree, the game has changed. And if you’re the biggest man on the greens, everyone cares. Helloooo… Tiger’s fans care.

NBC cares. According to the Wall Street Journal,  the TV ratings double when Mr. Wood’s plays. According to the Reuter’s blog, “Woods ratchets up television ratings whenever he competes and mentioning his name in a headline triggers massive interest by newspaper and online readers.” 

(Don’t worry too much about the sponsors, if there’s an audience deficiency, the advertisers are somewhat protected and will receive advertising credits towards other media buys.)

There are lots of unanswered questions. Where was he going at 2am, and how did all those things get in the way of his car if he was just backing out of the drive way? And could they really cause facial lacerations, bleeding, etc.? Is cool Tiger so shook up that he can’t do what he does so well—play golf? We hope not. Why did this even make the papers in this unflattering form? How important is Tiger’s reputation? My mom used to say all you have is your reputation; maybe Marie should have been Tiger’s marketing advisor. This didn’t have to be a problem. Was it poor management, poor advice or just panic in Tiger’s mind? So is it our business? Well no and yes. Simply enough, he hit the fire hydrant and you heard the variation on the rest. It’s not our business because he’s just a human being. It is our business because he’s chosen to make it our business. Tiger represents the best of what he does, the gold standard.

His life is no longer private; he has chosen to disclose the most intimate aspects. My advice: share the solution, his fans will stand by. His personal business is his business but it quickly became ours. Eventually we probably would have found out what happened. Okay so eventually we would forget most of it.

Okay so Tiger isn’t infallible, he’s real, and being real he becomes even more important to our society, if he “bellies up to the bar” as they say.

There are some important lessons for all of us concerned about our brands. Building a brand is hard; destroying a brand is a lot easier. So protecting your brand is important and takes a lot of work.

Tell the truth. Not telling the truth creates problems that don’t exist. Consult your confidants, your family, and your business associates before you issue any statements. When in doubt, call your lawyer. By the way, that was my ex-husband’s remedy for most events but I just figured it was because he was a lawyer. My ex-husband was right too. Remember you have loyal fans that wish you well, buy your products and sometimes wish they were you. By the way, we want our heroes to be good because we want to be like them.

Live by your ethics, breaching your ethics will always cause you and your loved ones pain. If your fans question your ethics your business will lose credibility.

Turn lemons into lemonade; look at the glass as half full, not half empty. These are wise words to live by.

Now that we know, share the solution.

A business owner told me his employee was drunk at a local bar and when the business owner confronted him the employee told him it was none of his business. He was drinking on his own time. Was it his business? You bet it was. But maybe he should have first discussed it with his lawyer before confronting his employee. You and your business are always on display. Several years ago I was traveling with an associate who decided to spout off about how stupid a prominent official was; of course his next-door-neighbor was sitting behind us.

I think Tiger and his marketing gurus should read the Velveteen Rabbit; have you read it? It’s a kid’s book written for adults. Maybe it will help them put a plan together. Here is a passage: If you want, you can have Meryl Streep read it, just click here.

"The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

It looks like our Tiger is about to become real. I wish him the best.