Fear gets into the way of everything. Think about it, we’re not fearful of the thing that causes the fear; we’re scared of the fear itself. It scares many to death; literally. We set up expectations about our life and how it should be and then are disappointed when it doesn’t turn out like we wanted it to. We seduce ourselves into believe in things that aren’t true and will never happen. We say we’ll do things when we get older, have more money, find a new love or get a new car. The truth is, it will never happen the way we wish it would.
I talk about wanting to move, at least for part of the year. I tell myself I hate the inconvenience caused by the snow. I actually had one opportunity that fit all my criteria. I could try it without relative risk; I liked the possibilities for work, and my dear friend was available to help me. When my friend died suddenly I felt like I had to start over gain. Like many, I like things easy, without complications and risks. Why has it taken me so long to take a risk? I tell myself it will be a great adventure, and I can make new friends but leaving the comfort of my home feels a little risky.
Every time you’re disappointed, check out the themes in your life. What fairy tales do you tell yourself about life? What do you want to but have no real plans in place? Living with reality may not be the best, but at least you know where you’re starting from. We all have patterns or themes in the way we do things. What are you constantly drawn to? What areas cause pain, what areas cause joy? You’ve heard it before, but push past the fear to live the life you deserve.
If you want to overcome fear, change your story. Give the store a happy ending instead one filled with doubt and anxiety. No matter what happens you can handle it, don’t let fear rule you!
Lisbeth has been working with people from all types of industries for over twenty years. If change is in your future and need some help, reach Lisbeth at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com.