Ask most people if they want to be successful, and they would say “of course.” If you ask them their strategy, they have the “deer in the head light look.”
Being successful requires a strategy. If you’re buying a new car or a house, you have a strategy. You make a list of the things that are important and exactly what you’re looking for.
Saying, “you’re not sure what you’re looking for” is not a strategy.
One thing you can do is to pay attention to your gut instinct. You know; “gut instinct” is a feeling. It is the feeling that makes you question what you’re doing. It may suggest that you not do it, or that you proceed ahead. Part of building a successful life is paying attention to your feelings.
You can have all the best plans in the world but if it “doesn’t feel right” you can be sure there is something wrong. Smart people pay attention to these feelings.
How do gut feelings work? Whenever we have an experience not only is the data stored but so are the feelings about it. We’ve all had butterflies in our stomach when we are trying something new. These feelings are connected to something that has happened during the past.
Have you ever met someone, and a warm feeling came over you? Instinctively, you liked this person? This likely comes from an experience of a person who is “similar.” This also happens when you don’t like the person. There are things that happen in our life that makes us feel good or bad. We call this “intuition.” This is why people who look for success find it. They continually conjure up positive feelings and go with them. This doesn’t mean they ignore danger, it means they look for positive rather than negative cues.
Paying attention to your gut feelings can help you stay on the road to success or derail you; feelings are not to be ignored.
Why would you fear success?
My experience tells me that most people don’t fear success; instead they feel failure. In order to be successful you must take risks and not all risks end with positive results. In order to get to success you may run across failure. Success is linked to failure in fact people who are successful have either overcome their fear of failure or believe their tough enough to get through it. Failure is often related to criticism and rejection.
Have you ever had a time when you were incapacitated with fear? The key is to forge through it and consider your mistakes as part of the learning process. Once you make a mistake, you have a better idea of what to do next.
You have probably heard the Law of Feedback—there is no failure only feedback. If you consider failure and mistakes as permanent, you will never be successful.
If you think back through history, the early settlers were probably wrecked with a mistake, but they never gave up. They ate foods that were poisonous, drank bad water and met up with dangerous animals. They didn’t feel they could give up. They knew they had to continue. Maybe we should consider ourselves as pioneers in our personal life. We are forging our path and are on our journey. No two lives or journeys are ever the same so how would we really know what works?
One thing you can do is take action, any kind of action. Do something that might frighten you and act on it. Every action you take will help you over your fear.
If it doesn’t work, try something else.
Lisbeth Calandrino helps businesses build loyal and profitable customers. She have her speak or provide training for your group she can be reached at Lcalandrino@nycap.rr.com