Of Course You Can Get Through Your Regrets

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Of Course You Can Get Through Your Regrets

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Why is hindsight so clear?

Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.” What a great insight!

At one time or another we all regret a choice we’ve made; it’s just being human. We can’t always choose the right path. But instead of  regretting your choice,  think about the positive aspects of your decision. What did you learn, how did you make the decision? Was it based on your present situation or future possibilities?

Last year I made a decision to buy a house  on a little  lake that was  similar to  my childhood home.  Unfortunately I based the decision on the fantasy of “how I would like to use the house” rather than the  reality of my life.  Last summer I spent one weekend in the house, despite the fact that it’s less than one hour from my home in Albany.  I hope it’s a good investment but only time will tell.

According to Dr. Michael Craig Miller, regrets  can help us make sense of our life and our choices.

How do you get through regrets? Here are a few things I’ve come up with, let me know what you think.

I know this sounds simplistic but get over it! Getting too involved in regrets is pointless. Why spend time hashing and rehashing—it’s over. A friend of mine told me today that she is still trying to get over a 14 year relationship. She and her ex-boyfriend still continue to hash things over and over despite the fact that they both say it’s over!

View the experience positively. Remember the concept called Yin Yang? The ancient Chinese subscribe to a belief that there exist two complementary opposite forces in the universe. One is Yin, which is characterized as negative or feminine, the other is s Yang which represents everything positive or masculine. One is not better than the other, they just co-exist. There is a positive and negative side to everything.

If we apply them to life we could say  there are two opposite sides to every event. In the case of our regret, it can be a positive learning experience. Ask yourself, how has this bad decision helped me? What have I learned, is there a good  side to my bad decision?

This past week my favorite restaurant burned to the ground. The restaurant  was one of the reasons that I bought my lake house. The restaurant had good food, good people and was the meeting place for everyone living on the lake.

Today I went to see the devastation. All I could think about was where will I go now? How will I find my summer friends?

It all felt so strange, it was my favorite place! I finally decided that there was a reason why I needed to move on. I’m not sure what it is but I’m practicing having “no regrets.”

Stay true to yourself. This is not about you being selfish, this is knowing yourself and doing what’s right for you. Maybe when you made the decision you weren’t doing the right thing for yourself.

Let your ethics be your guide. Socrates’ guiding rule was “know thyself.”

Stretch yourself. So you took a risk and it wasn’t right for you. According to Buzzle.com, sometimes taking a chance, regardless of how crazy it seems, can make your life more enjoyable.

Give yourself a break, try something that’s scary. Trying new things can free your spirit and give you a new joy for living. What’s wrong with that?

Most likely you’ll get to take more risks and make more mistakes. “Mistakes are sometimes the best memories.” Anonymous.

Let us know how you get  through your regrets.

Lisbeth Calandrino is a business coach and speaker. For some fun tips on living, download her book, Brain Snacks.






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By |2017-03-03T12:07:06+00:00April 2nd, 2012|beliefs, Blog|0 Comments

About the Author:

Lisbeth Calandrino is an award winning trainer, entrepreneur, and blogger and has spent over twenty years developing custom tailored marketing and customer service programs for businesses. Her recently published book, Red Hot Customer Service, 35 Sizzling Ways to Heat up Your Business and Ignite Your Sales defines the steps necessary to build a competitive advantage and turn great companies into unforgettable or red hot companies. Lisbeth admits that much of her knowledge came from her Italian grandfather who despite very little formal education and a limited English vocabulary, managed to became both successful and wealthy. Lisbeth has wonderful stories about Grandpa DiBiagio’s and her time spent learning how to managing Grandpa’s fruit stand. Because of Lisbeth’s experience as a business owner, having been the managing partner and owner of 7 furniture and carpet stores for 14 years, she is able to bring her extensive business knowledge and experience to all of her clients. Lisbeth’s awards include executive of the year award from the International Executive Association, Albany chapter (a business networking group) and first place honors in an international marketing contest for alternative medicine. A two time cancer survivor, she has spoken extensively about her experiences of cancer, offering words of comfort and inspiration. As an activist, Lisbeth has initiated and contributed to many charitable causes. She has worked with at-risk youth, spoken out against injustice and advocated to and helped to build resources for women. As a presenter, Lisbeth Calandrino is highly motivational, information-rich, and very entertaining. Her acute business sense, contagious enthusiasm, positive energy and fun sense of humor make her a dynamic presenter. Lisbeth is a member of New York, Historic Albany Foundation, educational director of Business Referrals Networking Group and member of the board of directors of the Animal Protective Foundation of Scotia, New York.

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